BYU Singles Ward Bishops Patrol Popular Make Out Areas

In an effort to keep BYU students from making out, singles ward bishops from various wards have started patrolling popular make out areas. These areas include parking lots, behind buildings, and squaw peak. The bishops call themselves, the Preventers of Really Intimate Kissing. Bishop Henderson, the bishop of the 107th singles ward, started PRIK when he came across two students making out in their car while he was in the parking lot.

“I was heading back to my car after a long meeting a a Friday night. I noticed a car that was turned on but not moving. Upon closer inspection I found two students making out. Such behavior is strongly discouraged by the general authorities! So I banged on their window and startled them. The girl quickly left embarrassed and her boyfriend gave me a glare. Although I stopped this incident I knew it wasn’t the only one. So I called the other bishops of the singles wards and we organized a group to make sure students don’t even come close to breaking the law of chastity.” Bishop Henderson told us.

The bishops have a schedule and work in shifts. Everyone weekend and school holiday, each bishop goes to a popular make out spot for a few hours. They walk around and if they find someone making out, they get their attention and stare at them until they feel awkward and leave.

“I was making out with my girlfriend at squaw peek one time. All of a sudden, this flashlight shines on us and an old guy is just staring at us. It was very uncomfortable so we left and made out somewhere else.” Dwayne Wilson said.

The bishops have caught other people besides BYU students making out. “I’ve seen high schoolers, UVU students, and even an old married couple making out. I reminded the younger people about the law of chastity and decided to leave the old couple be rather than make things more awkward.” Bishop Nielsen of the 109th ward said.

BYU students don’t seem to think the bishops are doing any good. “Honestly, we’ll just find other places to make out. It’s not like they can patrol the whole city! In someone already made a map of nearby spots PRIK isn’t patrolling.” John Anderson said.

He showed us the map but asked us not to publish it for fear of PRIK reading this article. Whether or not PRIK is a good thing for BYU and will have an impact remains to be determined. In the meantime students are advised not to make out on BYU property.

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