LDS Church Creates Hermit Ward

In response to the increasing number of church members who prefer to stay in their homes as much as possible, the LDS church has created a hermit ward. The idea is that members can participate in church activities without having to leave the comfort of their homes. The ward also has the largest geographical area as anyone in the world with good internet connection can join.

“Church meetings are done through Skype calls and the sacrament is delivered to each member’s home every Sunday. We also post all of the talks and lessons on our website each week so that those who live in a different timezone or sleep in don’t miss church.” Bishop Jenkins said.

“I love this ward! Now I don’t have to get up early and dress in my uncomfortable church clothes. Instead, I just get up when I want and watch the talks and lessons in my pajamas while eating breakfast. I wish there was a way they could deliver the sacrament to my room so I didn’t have to go all the way to the door though.” Bob Smith told us.

“Not only do we have regular church meetings, but we also have everything a normal ward has. For scouting, our leaders play wilderness survival simulators with the scouts. Tithing is sent through paypal. Our choir is the best sounding choir in any ward because we have auto tune, and for service projects, our members help old people in nearby wards learn how to use the internet.” Bishop Jenkins said.

“Another benefit to this ward is, if I’m not paying attention in class and get asked a question, I can just quickly google the answer!” Jim Anderson said.

“The only problem with the ward is the dating scene. 95% of our members are men so I bought a dating simulator for them so they could learn how to date and hopefully find their eternal companion. Unfortunately this didn’t seem to improve their social skills. It also gave them the wrong ideas on how to talk to women in the real world. So I just told them to stick with dating apps such as Tinder and mutual.” Bishop Jenkins reported.

A lot of parents are considering whether or not they want to send their kids to this ward.

“My son is very introverted. Trying to get him to go to youth events is always a pain. He complains that the only other thing the other guys talk about is sports which isn’t something he’s into. On one hand it would be nice for him to meet other members of the church who are like him but on the other I’m worried that they’ll influence him to never leave his bedroom.” Sister Jacobs told us.

“I’d love to join that ward! Meeting people just like me without having to get up and get dressed sounds awesome! My mom is hesitant to let me but even if she doesn’t, I turn 18 just 4 more years.” Jeremy Jacobs told us.

The hermit ward has only been around for a few months so it is too early to tell whether it is a good thing or a bad thing for its members.

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